Tuesday, December 15, 2009

if i was a doctor

Dear Doctors,
It isn't that we don't WANT like you, you just make it so difficult sometimes. First of all there's the paper. You bring us into your office and make us dress in paper. In my case, you don't even give me a "set" of paper to wear, you just give me an oversized paper towel and ask me to wrap myself in it and hope for the best. So there I sit, in a sheet of paper, trying to have an intelligent conversation about my health but can't quite concentrate because I'm worried that my makeshift paper toga will either rip, slip, or just plain old disintegrate under the stress of trying to cover my body. Seriously- you want to put us at ease? Give us a hospital gown. Sure they're open in the back, but they're better than a sheet of paper. Or at the very least, the paper shirt so that I can fashion the sheet of paper into a skirt instead of trying to make it cover my entire body.

Ignoring the interactions between patient and doctor (which in my case I'm again, not so impressed with), the least you could do to help us out at the end of the appointment is to make sure there is a mirror in the exam room. Now obviously, we don't want the mirror to be hanging out on the "business side" of the table- we don't need to be seeing that- but maybe a mirror on the door? So that after the humiliation of the paper we can at least pull ourselves together before we leave the room.

Just a few suggestions. I'm sure you go to the doctor too- wouldn't you appreciate these things?
Sincerely,
A patient

7 comments:

Leslie's Keith said...

Nope...boys only go to the Doctor if they're in an ambulance...

(Physios and Sports Med. people don't count)

Reverend Joyleaf said...

What kind of Dr are you going to that makes you strip down and attempt to cover with a paper sheet? I thought when you had an appointment you were supposed to wear loose fitting clothing. Maybe your Dr is just a perv. I've never had to wear a paper sheet.

k said...

You've also never had to get your girlie bits checked...
:)

Reverend Joyleaf said...

Touché...literally...HA!

lu said...

i knew exactly what you were talking about when i was reading that! in kenya, the doctors had cotton sheets, can you believe that?! there is a lot to be said about old school doctoring.

and i had never thought about the mirror, but that is a great idea!

Sandra said...

Next time I am at the doctor I should thank her. I get both a cotton gown and a mirror in every room. Both very important:)

Heather said...

I get the paper towel thing and then a paper "shirt" which is a paper with sleeves and open AT THE FRONT. so with one hand, I hold the paper towel around the bottom half of my body, and with the other hand, I hold the "shirt" closed. And I'm always nervous (because I'm nude), so I'll start sweating a little, and then the tiny sweat starts spreading across the paper. Awesome. Love the doctor.