Saturday, February 14, 2009

dear michael phelps,

I kind of feel sorry for you. You're a 23 year old who lives in the pool and when you finally come out for some air (should that actually be "air"?) someone goes and sells their party picture to the tabloids. Just months ago, you could do no wrong in the eyes of the American people, now they've got their nickers in a twist over a bong hit. Sure, it isn't something you really want your kids to see- a role model doing drugs, but I've heard about how much you eat. Those 8,000-10,000 calorie hunger pangs don't just come naturally- you need a little help.

Anyway, my point is, here in Canada we had a Prime Minister who claimed that during his retirement he'd be found with a joint in one hand and the money to pay the fine in the other. And our swim team is in dire need of some star power. So the logical step for you is to come north. You'd fit right in -we do love our pot-smoking Olympians.

(and seriously...why are people far more upset about this pot smoking than they seemed to be when you were busted for drunk driving in 2004? THAT my friend is behaviour worth getting upset about. so if you do come to canada, please leave the DUIs behind.)

1 comment:

lu said...

i totally concur and thought the same thing. and i am pretty sure that anyone who can do what he does AND smoke pot is some kind of machine so i am even more impressed with his athleticism. his discretion? not as much.